As a mother and expectant mother at that, what choice is there? My 5 year old seems to have accepted that his step-father has gone and isn't coming back, so surely that's what I need to do now, right?
So, I made a list and I'm getting on with it, all the practical things:
- Taking him off the council tax bill to make it cheaper
- Decorating the babies room (with a huge amount of help from my sister, big love for her)
- Changing the look to my bedroom and making it mine again
- Getting a bigger car so I don't have to struggle since he took the big car
- Sorting out my bank accounts
- Seeing my solicitor so that I know my rights, and his for that matter! For warned is for armed, as they say!
As for how I feel, I can't really tell you because I don't know. I go between numb, upset and rage, though today its mainly rage!
I have nothing to say to him, nothing. And frankly after leaving with absolutely no explanation, leaving us with no money, taking all his things, as he instructed his family members to do for him, within 24 hours and not contacting me to see if his unborn child is alright, it can't be any surprise that I just don't want anything to do with him (you see, rage!).
Frankly, I think I have been remarkably calm about the whole thing. But he is not coming back. He burnt his bridges on the way out, even if he was running scared, and pee-ed all over them just for good measure. I hope everyone that knows him is disgusted with him because I really don't think there is anything another person can do to their partner that is worse than this.
But I, as everyone keeps telling me, am strong and I will win! I can do this. My children and I do not need a spineless man around to bring us down, and that is certainly what he is.
So come on little man in my belly, do your growing and come and meet your big brother, who is so excited to see you. Mummy loves you, and together, we'll take on whatever life throws at us and win...