So, I've changed my name! My surname that is, and have checked and when my son is born, he can have the same name as me and there is nothing that can be done about it! This I am very pleased about!
And I am doing something about the stress....this week I will be attending a ante-natal yoga class at Chakra House (sounds very serious!) and I think the teacher must be very into the whole thing as she signed her email 'Namaste'!! Its the first time that has happened! Also, I am going back to see my Chinese lady on Thursday for some acupuncture and Reiki which really sorted me out last time I went, so if my energy/chakras/chi aren't a little more aligned by the weekend I'm doing something wrong!
My son seems to be doing better. We spent the weekend with my sister and when I wasn't around she had a chat with him about whether he missed his step-father now he was gone...he said he missed that he can't poke my belly like he could poke his and I don't do sword fighting in quite the same way and that he thought that Mummy was a bit sad, but he related my sadness to my grandmother dying, not to his step-father leaving! I am reassured by this and also it seems the punching incident at school was a one off, so at least, for the moment, he seems to be doing ok.
This progress and making these changes helps. In my head, I am moving forward and that progress feels positive. I like having the bed to myself, and putting things down and them still being there when I come back! I can't decide if I miss him, or if its still just an urge to yell at him! Hopefully once my energy/chakra/chi has been messed with some of that confusion will be a little clearer...