As I said to a friend this morning, its time to stop ranting!! I accept that a good rant can be therapeutic, but it gets tiresome even for the person doing the complaining! I realise I have plenty to bitch about but really how is it helping?!!
I think its about how you look at it all...perspective. Everybody has their own issues, their own problems, and when its your own, its hard. Standing outside looking in and advising someone on their stuff is easy, it doesn't directly affect you. Dealing with your own in a way that moves you forward and remaining positive about it is what is so hard. People describe it as being strong. I disagree, its not being strong, its just coping the best way you know how to. If it comes over as strength, then so be it, but its just not collapsing under circumstances that one is living within, often because crumbling is not an option.
I truly believe that women have to be 'stronger' than men. Women as a species have more to deal with and are innately more able to deal with strife and difficult circumstances, whether in a relationship or alone. Within the last 50 years, women's roles have changed so dramatically and are now so varied that coping with the different stresses life holds, whether it is career, motherhood, relationships, financial stability, they are all things that we have to cope with constantly. We don't have the luxury of being able to 'check out', something that men do have the choice of. Men can choose one thing, often career or work, and no responsibility. And even if they take on responsibility, they can choose to walk away, and from those I know of and from talking to other women, walking away happens a lot.
And this is something else that I think is a modern phenomenon. Even 20-30 years, the idea of a man walking out on his family and responsibilities would have been so abhorrent that the idea would have been enough to deter it happening. These days, it is so much more socially acceptable that it is almost accepted. How can this be right??? Is this progress??? Its so easy to give up and leave, and the women are left to pick up the pieces.
Although it may not sound like it, I'm not bitter. I just think it is not fair! Why is there not more accountability for it all?
Ok, so if you have read my earlier blog posts you will know that this obviously post is relevant to what is happening in my life, but it had happened to so many women around me that I wanted to highlight it. The answers escape me, and the audacity of the situation just becomes more and more extreme. Alright, so maybe I am a little bitter, but who wouldn't be?!!